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Constitution of the United States of Antarctica
:Not to be confused with the GourdZoid version. The , also known simply as the Consitution, is the legal document to which the entire government of the USA was founded upon. It outlined the basic principles and powers of the government, as well as the framework for any future laws passed on the federal level. Originally inteded to be a repair to the Articles of Loose Togetherness, this powerful document was drafted from scratch by some of the most PWNsome folks of the 1990s. The only country in the USA, which doesn't follow the constitution, are the Warmslates and Freezeland (Constitution of Freezeland). They have they own version. Due to political reasons, stated in the Treaty of Dorkugal, nobody is able to change that. Background :Main article: Constitution Writing Squad After the EPIC FAIL of the Articles of Loose Togetherness, the Constitution Writing Squad came back to session at Club Penguin's Night Club with the intent to revise it and make it less fail. Many famous penguins attended, and delegates from every modern state (except Pengolia which didn't exist until 2003) attened and battled each other for government fairness, balence, stability, and most importantly, ease of use. The wacky statesmen often had personal gain on their minds (particularly Mabel von Injoface XVIII, Mabel's mother), so the battle was long and hard. Compromises ensued, and Mabel XVIII is rumored to have added stuff to the document at the last second......... The entire thing was ordered to be kept secret. That meant shutting down the Night Club, turning off the music, closing the windows and placing guards in every entrance and the roof. They wrote by candlelight to ensure that no one would know of what happened in there. They only wanted the Masses to know the result, not the battles that made it. Original, Pre-Amended Text THE UBER 1337 CONSTITUTION OF THE KRYTOCRATIC REPUBLIC OF THE UNITED STATES OF ANTARCTICA Preamble WE THE CREATURES, IN ORDER TO FORM A BETTER UNION THAN THE LAST ONE, ESTABLISH BANHAMMERS AND GUARENTEE THE DOMESTIC TRANQUILITY, TO PROVIDE FOR THE CREATURES' DEFENSE, UPGRADE EVERYONE'S WELFARE AND, SECURE THE GLORY OF EPIC WIN TO OURSELVES AND OUR PROSPERITY. WE'LL ORDAIN AND SET UP THIS HERE CONSTITUTION, OF THE UNITED STATES OF ANTARCTICA. It is for the reasons outlined, and because the Articles of Loose Togetherness were the biggest Epic Fail since the King, that the Constitutional Writing Squad has re-assembled to write a new governing body which will be so better than anything that our Former Tyrant's momma could ever produce. We who have convened hereby guarantee that any and all creatures within the Jurisdiction that this document controls shall be able to access its freedoms. We also guarantee that this document shall uphold the basic things that all penguins, no, all CREATURES should have, and that what we worked our tail feathers off fighting for shall never again resurface. Never again shall the Masses be enslaved by a tyrannical Noob that we actually referred to as King! LET'S GET IT ON! Article One ;;ARTICLE ONE. Considering all the ideas drafted in the period of unrest, we have chosen to establish a KRYTOCRACY to govern the new Nation. A Rule by the Gavel has been chosen, for what better to enforce the laws then they who preside and know them best? After all, not everyone can wear black robes and sit in big chairs! May it be established, firmly and completely, that Judges shall be the enforcing body of these United States. A uni-partisan Legislature, consisting of one Delegate for each State, and one delegate for any major City or Municipal Establishment that wishes to join, shall be held every few weeks at the Capital of this fair Land, wherever that capital may be. Article One Section One SECTION ONE Laws enacted by this Governing Body apply to whoever needs it, be it Federally or control of one city. These laws can not, and nor will they, ever infringe the Rights of the Creatures living in wherever they control. Article One, Section One, Clause One :SECTION ONE CLAUSE 1: ;;THE VILLAIN CLAUSE ::UNLESS THAT CREATURE IS A POMPUS PUFFLE OR A VILLAIN REGARDED BY THE LEGISLATURE AS A VILLAIN AND A THREAT TO THE SECURITY OF THE COUNTRY. PARTICULARLY IF IT IS A POMPUS PUFFLE. Article One, Section One, Clause Two :SECTION ONE CLAUSE 2: ;;THE VON INJOFACE'S WHINING OVERRIDE CLAUSE ::VILLAINS CAN BE EXEMPT FROM CLAUSE ONE SHOULD THEY REFORM. POMPUS PUFFLES, BY HERIDITARY BINDINGS, DON'T HAVE RIGHTS, SO WE CAN'T INFRINGE THEM BECAUSE THEY HAVE NOTHING TO INFRINGE. Article One, Section One, Clause Three :SECTION ONE CLAUSE 3: ;;THE MABEL MUST BE QUIET CLAUSE ::MABEL, AND ANY RELATIVES PRIOR OR YET TO COME, EVEN IF THEY PARTAKE IN ANY NAME OR VIA LEGAL NAME CHANGE IN A USA COURT OF LAW, SHALL CEASE COMPLAINING, HENCEFORTH AND FOREVER MORE, ABOUT CLAUSE ONE AND TWO AS OUTLINED ABOVE, BECAUSE THEY HAVE NO RIGHTS DUE TO THEIR DUMB EVILS. ''-Explorer V'' Article One, Section Two SECTION TWO It is the Duty (hee hee, we wrote duty) of this Legislature to Uphold and Listen to the Voice of the Masses. If they don't like it, the Legislature better Listen. Article One, Section Two, Clause One :SECTION TWO CLAUSE ONE ;;The Mabel is not the Masses Clause Unless the Masses solely consist of any Mabel or a powerful (or not) member in her Family Tree. Article One, Section Three SECTION THREE The Creatures in the District of which a Delegate Represents have the right to an Optional Vote, by Majority Rule, who gets to come in and run on the Legislature. However, the Creatures must Call a Vote to be Organized. If the creatures fail to Call a delegate vote, the Delegate shall be appointed by the Chief Justice of the legislature. The Vote is Optional. Article One, Section Four SECTION FOUR The Legislature is to be granted power to make laws necessary and proper to carry out domestic and foreign affairs, settle disputes, and do stuff that the government needs to be done. Article One, Section Five SECTION FIVE Only Judges or experienced politicians can hold seats on the Legislature. Article One, Section Five, Clause One :SECTION FOUR CLAUSE ONE ;;The Presiding Clause Though civilians and non-lawyers can gain a seat in the Legislature, a licensed Judge or Justice of the Peace who can legally preside a Court of Law must be the presiding Chief Justice over the Legislature. Article One, Section Six SECTION SIX A Chief Justice is to be the Highest power in the Legislature. It is his or her duty (hee hee we wrote duty again) to call the Legislature to order, to present major issues concerning the Nation at the time of the Session, and to listen to the delegates' regional issues. All Delegates are to vote for each proposal, bill, or theory, and when all Ballots are cast, it is the Chief Justice who shall reach a verdict based on their Colleagues' votes. Article One, Section Six, Clause One :SECTION SIX CLAUSE ONE ;;The Chief Justice Term Clause The Chief Justice shall be appointed by the founders of this Constitution. Chief Justices serve for Life. When he or she passes away or retires, a Successor shall be named by either the late Justice, or if no Heir is called forth, by the legislature themselves. Article One, Section Seven SECTION SEVEN Delegates can serve for however long their state, region, or nation wants them to serve. This can be for Life, for a few months, anything within reason. However, if by some miracle a Mabel gets a seat, she can only serve one year tops. ---- Article One, Section Eight The Chief Justice to to take an Oath to uphold this Constitution. A lawyer or judge is to swear them in, the one swearing them in adorned in full judicial regalia as their customs dictate. Chief Justice-elect places left flipper on lawyer's head and raises right flipper. Lawyer: I, {insert name here}... Chief Justice-elect: I, {insert name here}... Lawyer: Hereby affirm to be the best possible Judge I can be... Chief Justice-elect: Hereby affirm to be the best possible Judge I can be... Lawyer: To uphold truth and justice, to preside fairly and wisely... Chief Justice-elect: To uphold truth and justice, to preside fairly and wisely... Lawyer: To obey and be bound to the Constitution... Chief Justice-elect: To obey and be bound to this Constitution... Lawyer: -and to always be good and do what is right, no matter what Mabel says. Chief Justice-elect: -and to always be good and do what it right, no matter what Mabel says. Chief Justice-elect takes flipper off of lawyer's head and places right flipper on ancient recipe book, raising left flipper. Lawyer: Now I ask thee... Do you like Waffles? Chief Justice-elect: I, {insert name}, like Waffles. Lawyer: Do you like Pancakes? Chief Justice-elect: I, {insert name}, like Pancakes. Lawyer: Do you like French Toast? Chief Justice-elect: I, {insert name}, like French Toast. Lawyer: Can you wait to get a mouthful? Chief Justice-elect: No, I can not. Lawyer: Then it is with great pleasure, as governed by the Constitution of this Land, that I, {lawyer name}, hereby declare you the Honorable Chief Justice of the Legislature of the Krytocratic Republic of the United States of Antarctica. May the programmers be with you, and good luck! Article Two It is within our knowledge to have an Executive Office in the United States of Antarctica's Government. Article Two, Section One SECTION ONE The Executive section shall consist of a popularly elected President who then serves for Life. Majority votes are to be conducted by each state in the States, and the entire total will be counted in pure democratic fashion, each ballot counting to the vote of the President hopeful. The canidate with the Most Votes is to be sworn in as President, where he will serve for Life, or if he is Impeached by the Legislature on Assorted Crimes, or if a petition consisting over two million signatures is presented to the Legislature. Article Two, Section Two The President whom the People have chosen is to be sworn in by the Chief Justice of the Legislature, unless the Justice is incapable of performing this, either due to sickness, absence in office, corruption, speech defects, or other means to which the Oath can not be properly administered. If this case should Arise, either a practicing Lawyer or Judge with proper credentials is to administer the Oath. :THE OATH OF OFFICE: President-elect raises his right flipper and places left flipper on a copy of a map of the USA, which sits over the book ''Pipe Organs for Dummies. Lawyer: I, {insert President Name}... President-elect: I, {insert President Name}... Lawyer: Hereby solemnly swear... President-elect: Hereby solemnly swear... Lawyer: To be a proper Role Model... President-elect: To be a proper Role Model... Lawyer: To uphold the Laws and Constitution of this country... President-elect: To uphold the Laws and Constitution of this country... Lawyer: To protect the country from devastation... President-elect: To protect the country from devastation... Lawyer: To unite all creatures within our nation. President-elect: To unite all creatures within our nation. Lawyer: To define the evils, the truth, and love... President-elect: To define the evils, the truth, and love. Lawyer: To extend our reach to the stars above. President-elect: To extend our reach to the stars above. Lawyer states the name of the Chief Justice. President-elect states his name. Lawyer: United States of Antarctica, may it prosper at the speed of light! President-elect: United States of Antarctica, may it prosper at the speed of light! Lawyer: Tyranny must surrender or prepare to fight! President-elect: So it shall be, that's right. Lawyer: As President, do you vow to recall and uphold all things justice, and to fulfill your duties as the Executive leader, as stated in the United States of Antarctica's constitution? President-elect: I do. Lawyer: Will you, above all else, serve your country with honor, respect, dignity, and PWNsomeness? President-elect: I will. Lawyer: Then it is with great pleasure, as governed by the Constitution of this Land, that I, {lawyer name}, hereby declare you President of the Krytocratic Republic of the United States of Antarctica. May the programmers be with you, and good luck! Lawyer and President give each other a high five, and in accordance with Club Penguin customs, is to perform the Dance. Optional: the new President may have to recite the Pledge of Allegiance after being sworn in and before doing the high-five and Dance. ---- Article Two, Section Three SECTION THREE The position of President is largely opinions and ceremonial. Powers of the President are as follows: *The President may appoint and create positions in an Executive Cabinet. He can create as many positions and bureaucracies stemming from the Cabinet as needed. The Cabinet's powers are subordinate to the Legislature and as such hold less power. *The President can also hold a State of the {insert reason} Address for any reason, at any time, and it must be Televised in some manner. *The President can attend any sporting event, concert, party, festival, or any means of celebration that requires admission for free. Article Three A judicial Court system is to be established by the Legislature, and minor courts are to be installed where they are needed. All courthouses are related to one-another, and any court's decision is to be respected by courts that are lower and at the same rank as the one that has reached the verdict. Higher ranking courts can overturn this decision. There may be any number of highest courts that can have a final say on the matter of the lawsuit. Article Three, Section One SECTION ONE There is no solitary Supreme Court. A single courthouse which can overturn all others is dumb. THE SUPREME COURT IS A LIE. Article Three, Section Two SECTION TWO If a lawsuit is taken to one of the highest ranking courts, and the plaintiff does not like the decision, he or she can go to another highest court and appeal. However, if the majority of Highest Courts pass a similar or identical verdict, then the Plaintiff has to deal with it. Whining about a verdict after every possible thing is done is punishable by a month in a federal prison. Article Three, Section Three SECTION THREE Neither Mabel, nor her descendants, ancestors, relatives, siblings, children, cronies, minions, roommates, friends, boyfriends (if that is even possible), ex-boyfriends, clones, or cults (should one exist), can be a presiding judge over any bench in the United States of Antarctica. Any non-family who Affiliates with Mabel must either revoke their Membership(s) or not enter the judicial career. If a creature obtains proper prerequisites to become a judge and obtains the seat, but it is later discovered to be a Mabel family member or crony as stated Above, he or she is to Revoke their position as Judge or publicly denounce Mabel and all she stands for, with audio and video recordings. A public notary is to sign this to Affirm that it happened. Only then may the once again preside. Article Four All records, court decisions, certificates, diplomas, anything that Records something, as well as any act or deed of one State is to receive Assumption of Good Faith and Credit in all other States too, unless something very Important necessitates the rejection otherwise. Article Four, Section One SECTION ONE In any and all circumstances, residents of one state may Navigate the Borders of any other, at any time, for any reason outside of tyranny or villainy. Article Four, Section One, Clause One :SECTION ONE CLAUSE ONE ;;MABEL CLAUSE All states may set their own rules and regulations, to their preference or likings, creating local measures to Ban Mabel and/or her Family from crossing the national borders without a permit. Mabel, as stated, lacks Constitutional Rights, and therefore has no rights to infringe. At the state's discretion, Mabel can enter freely like a Citizen or be barred from crossing the border, or whatever in between tickles their Fancy. Individual rules can be Established on each family member, or they can apply to the group as a whole. Article Four, Section One, Clause Two :SECTION ONE CLAUSE TWO ;;MABEL PWNAGE IS LOCAL CLAUSE The Legislature, unfortunately, can not enact national punishments on Mabel or any of family. It is the States' decision on what to do with the Hated and slightly tubby ball of fluff. Article Four, Section One, Clause Three :SECTION ONE CLAUSE THREE ;;INJOFACE ONLY CLAUSE Only confirmed members of the Von Injoface family can receive the state punishments as outlined in these clauses. Article Four, Section Two SECTION TWO If the States or Government have Government-owned property, and they want to sell it, it must be auctioned online or by an auctioneer at the property site. Article Four, Section Two, Clause One :SECTION TWO CLAUSE ONE ;;NO MABEL ALLOWED CLAUSE Mabel can not received Government property! Article Four, Section Three If a Creature commits a crime in or of one state, but hails from another, that State can not add worse or better punishments merely because of their residence. That is dumb. Article Four, Section Three, Clause One :SECTION THREE CLAUSE ONE ;;MABEL CRIME CLAUSE Unless that creature who hails from another is Mabel or members of the Von Injoface Family. This also exempts Von Injofaces from other countries. Article Four, Section Three States may govern themselves as they wish, so long as it does not violate this Constitution or any Legislative laws passed. Article Four, Section Three, Clause One THE MABEL CLAUSE Unless that state is ruled/governed/owned by Mabel or a Von Injoface in any possible way. If this is the case, then the state must be under federal supervision. Article Five This Constitution, should Flaws be pointed out, can be Amended to improve it. The Legislature or the Masses can propose a Constitutional Amendment. To amend this Constitution, two-thirds of all present Delegates and the Chief Justice must approve. If the Chief Justice strikes it down, the amendment is dead. Then, the Amendment is sent straight to the Masses, and by popular vote, the creatures decide the final say. :This Article was mostly struck out by Amendment Seventeen. Article Six This Constitution, and all amendments, clauses, sections, articles, and anything else in it, are the Supreme Law of the Land. All other laws, be it federal, state, local, or anything, must be upheld to this Constitution. All Judges in this nation are bound by this Constitution, and this Constitution alone. All other laws and lawsuits are to be upheld to this Constitution, and anything unconstitutional must be ignored, much like like Mabel at a party. All judges and other key government positions must take Oaths to Uphold this Country and its Constitution. Article Six, Section One If an oath needs to be administered to one whose oath is not written here, then the creatures swearing in or coronation (if the case may be) the official must draft the Oath and send it to the Legislature for approval. Once approved, the Oath that was passed will be administered to the official and any subsequent character who takes that position forever more. Article Six, Section One, Clause One :SECTION ONCE CLAUSE ONE ;;LOL CLAUSE Oaths can not be changed once written. It takes a unanimous decision by all Delegates of the Legislature to have any oath on any level rewritten, so don't screw it up with typos are text one would regret!! Article Seven Three-fourths of all colonies left over by that Weenie of a King must vote to Ratify this Constitution. The polls will be held on June 27th, 2000. Until then, everyone is to get comfortable in their new-found freedom. However, the Articles of Loose Togetherness are no longer in effect, so enjoy this short period of anarchy to arrange yourselves. ---- CONCLUSION CONCLUSION :WRITTEN ON THIS DATE, AND ENDING JANAURY FIRST, TWO THOUSAND A.D., WITH THE PROGRAMMERS AS OUR WITNESS AND HISTORY AS OUR JUDGE, MAY THIS LEGAL DOCUMENT BE FOREVER BINDING TO THE ESTABLISHMENT OF THE COUNTRY THAT FOLLOWS THE SIGNING OF THIS THING AND TO ALL LAWS PASSED. MAY EVERYTHING BE DONE FOR THE CREATURES, OF THE CREATURES, AND BY THE CREATURES, WITH THE EXCEPTION OF MABEL. ::WADDLE ON, :::DELEGATES OF THE CONSTITUTIONAL WRITING SQUAD ::::{delegate signatures} ---- Controversy! :Main article: ACLUM Even though the Consitution was unanimously ratified (as long as a bill of rights was drafted afterwards), there is still resentment to the document that, for the most part, is adored. The famous and glorious Mabel Clauses, as awesome as they are in the public's eyes, have angered some political nutjobs from the worst of life. The group, called the Antarctican Civil Liberties Union of Mabel (ACLUM), are a group of villains FAR WORSE than the MMK. The company of evil lawyers jam the nation's courts, screaming that Mabel has rights that should not be denied (O_O), and they say it's not right that Mabel and the von Injoface family can't enjoy all of the liberties that every USA citizen has. They come to court, speak their hearts out with long and annoying pleas to give Mabel rights and privelages that everyone else gets. Then, the judge would always laugh, call them Noobs, and have the Bailiff kick them out. However, they won't stop! They protest on Explorer's lawn, Rick Roll the South Pole Council, and march to capitals of various places, screaming for Mabel's rights! A bill is currently trying to be passed labelling ACLUM as bonefide threats to national security and an Evil Army, but since they aren't technically breaking any laws in the Consitution, and are just protesting, they won't go away. The Council is working on THAT too, as is the President, because the ACLUM spam is getting worse day by day by day by day by day by day..... STOP, YOU MABEL PHREAKS! EVEN THE MMK WOULD BE ASHAMED! Trivia * Judge Xavier has memorized the Constitution. * Explorer (the current one) loves the wise Anti-Mabel clauses. * Recent USA polls suggest that the Consitution is in great working order and doesn't need to be changed anytime soon. * The GourdZoid Council Hall HATES this Consitution. Creatures are trying to impeach them as you read this. See Also *United States of Antarctica *Amendments to the Constitution of the United States of Antarctica *Bill of Stuff Every Penguin Should Have *ACLUM *South Pole Council *Colonial Antarctica *Articles of Loose Togetherness category:Colonial Antarctica category:Items category:Politicians Category:Countries